Are you a person of her word? Are you the guy who can be counted on to keep his promises? Do your client, peers, and partners trust you to be dependable?
In business, we work hard to demonstrate our integrity and reliability, putting others’ needs ahead of our own. As servant leaders, we prioritize those we manage, to whom we report, or who pay our bills. As anyone who’s ever been disappointed by someone who didn’t deliver can tell you, not everyone walks the talk.
But even those who have earned a reputation of reliability with others may find themselves failing to keep the most important promises of all: the ones they make to themselves.
If you lose yourself in the needs and wants of others, it’s difficult to keep your word to yourself, and you’ll be left with long-forgotten aspirations, downplayed dreams, and disintegrated goals.
Here’s how to keep the promises you make to yourself:
Make sure they’re what you really want.
Before you can keep promises to yourself, you have to confirm that they’re still relevant and meaningful to you. Having clarity about what matters most to you is a great place to start. It’s okay to have different goals today than you did five years ago (or even last year), but if you have a dream that persists, that nags at your psyche and begs to be acknowledged, it’s worthwhile to note.
Ask yourself why you’ve let things slide—and be honest.
It’s easy to blame external forces for your inability to act, but what prevents your progress is internal. Fear—of failure, success, and what others may say or think about you—or believing you’re not worthy of such a lofty ambition can hold you back from keeping the promises you make to yourself.
When you’re honest about why you’ve let things slide and acknowledge your fears, you lessen their power and remove a barrier to success.
Prioritize and schedule time for them.
It sounds simple, but it’s worth repeating: if you want to keep the promises you make to yourself, you must make time for them. Prioritize and carve out non-negotiable space every day to work on your goals, even if it’s just 15 minutes. Protect this time by scheduling your calendar sessions to keep promises front and center and before anything else.
Tell another human being.
It’s one thing to write something down in a private journal or tape it to your office wall where only you will see it; it’s quite another to speak your intentions out loud to another person. Will this make you feel vulnerable? Probably. But sharing your goals with someone and acknowledging their existence will make them real—and help you stick to them. You can even ask the person with whom you shared your promise to act as your accountability partner, regularly checking in with you on your progress.
Break it down into smaller chunks.
Keeping a promise to yourself usually involves more than a single bold, sweeping gesture; it’s typically a series of things that lead you to success. I love dreaming big and thinking about what’s possible, but when it comes to executing, it’s the small actions, done consistently, that matter most.
Track your progress and celebrate the small wins.
No matter how small, any step forward helps you move closer to your goal of keeping the promises you made to yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae and forget to pause and reflect on your accomplishments. Logging your progress helps remind you how far you’ve come and what’s left to do. As a bonus, the next time you’re feeling a bit defeated, refer back to your notes to give you a much-needed boost of motivation and encouragement.
The adage, “Say what you mean and mean what you say,” doesn’t just apply to other people. Make sure your actions speak louder than words by keeping the promises you make to yourself.
A version of this article appeared on forbes.com, posted on December 15, 2020
EXPERD, Human Resources Consultant, Jakarta – Indonesia