For starters, stop being so demanding.
Any successful leader who's ever failed at something understands the importance of inviting feedback. Gaining a new perspective on prior mistakes helps you develop a critical component of good leadership: self-awareness.
Increasing your self-awareness leads to the behaviors and habits that most people desire in you: respect for others, fairness, empathy, and trust. So, why do we find so many people in high-ranking roles devoid of self-awareness?
The reason, quite simply, is that they lack emotional intelligence, which will certainly lead to poor decision-making, damaged relationships, and even more mistakes being made. To that end, here are five bad habits that will disappear once you build enough self-awareness to change them.
1. A demanding attitude
People with low emotional intelligence typically want things their way without consulting other team members. They have narrow-minded--or false--expectations that could potentially cloud a sense of reality and sabotage work processes.
2. A judgmental attitude
What a judgmental attitude will do is alienate colleagues at work. The best solution for this individual, if they're open to shifting and increasing their self-awareness, is to stop jumping to conclusions before hearing all the facts, and start listening intently to improve their communication skills. Remember: When we judge, we invite judgment upon ourselves.
3. A 'my way or the highway' attitude
Do you work with or for someone unable to budge or view things differently? Do they steamroll ahead with a decision without soliciting feedback? This is a colleague or manager having a need to have things the way they "should be." They find it difficult to have patience and tolerance for differences that don't fit with their ideal needs and expectations. Take note: This obsessed person can wreak havoc in the workplace and bring a team down.
4. An indecisive nature
The inability to make decisions, especially when it counts, hurts the team. These people may suffer from "analysis paralysis." Rather than using their intuition and going with their gut, they overthink, get stuck in their heads, and intellectualize things too much.
5. A lack of accountability
People who don't exercise responsibility and own up to "their stuff" when they're at fault will fast lose respect and credibility. When they can't admit to their own mistakes, are never wrong, and blame other people when something goes wrong, even if it's not based on reality, clearly, this is someone that should be removed from the leadership ranks. Bosses who display these inexcusable traits are simply not accountable for their own actions. They are more concerned with preserving their reputation and saving face.
As you review some of these scenarios above, which aspects may be the hardest to deal with when faced with a manager or colleague lacking self-awareness?
A version of this article appeared on inc.com, posted on January 13, 2023
EXPERD, Human Resources Consultant, Jakarta – Indonesia